.:s h a r d s - t h e a r c h i v e:.

Replaced song of the moment with BAND of the moment (C'mon it's PEARL JAM~! I know, I know, no one cares.). Nothing really new to note since the last update (been a slow month). I may work on a new splash page image, but people seem to like the current one (gotta love that lens flare filter). I may do some generally shnazzy thigns with the site tho - ya never know. I could throw you ALL for a loop and completely change my design :) (End 6:10 P.M.)

I wonder if people who surf in find my site as interesting as I do other people's. No one ever e-mails me to make any comments. Ah well. As for the developments in the relationship department, I seem to be getting more confident with females. I asked two out and gave another my number with no problem at all, where otherwise I wouldn't have even approached them. Hopefully *something* develops from this. We shall see. (End 2:20 A.M.)

Just came off being Manager for a week at Ritz. Tom went on vacation, so I was in charge. Apparently I handled it rather well, since he seemed pleased when he returned. I found a sample chapter of the next R.A. Salvatore book, Sea of Swords, at the D&D website yesterday. I can not wait for this book to come out. Salvatore is my favorite author, and I'll probably finish the book in two or three days, if that long. I'm going to be breaking the camera out again soon, possibly with new pictures for you (If I ever get a scanner). Autumn is a great time for taking pictures, and the sooner the better as the weather seems to indicate things might be slipping towards winter a little early this year. Thought I'd have more to say but I don't, so cya :). (1:29 P.M.)

I'm in shock. I'm speechless... I cannot truly explain to anyone how I feel about this. We played D&D tuesday night. At first, it seemed like we shouldn't... but then, I realized... Dungeons and Dragons is a game about good triumphing over evil. So, once we got into it, I think it kind of sated our immediate "Wish we could do something" feelings about all of this. I've been glued to the radio or the tv or the news web sites since 9:00 A.M. Tuesday morning. I really thought I could say a whole lot more about this but words escape me at the moment. I do want to throw this your way...

Oddly enough this piece of photo journalism shares the same name as my site. It's an odd thing being a photographer. People love pictures... but when you're behind that camera you're torn between morality and basic human decency and getting such memorable moments on film. And yes, I do believe even tragedies are memorable moments, who among you can say you'll ever forget September 11th 2001? People have been commending the firefighters and the rescue workers and such, and they truly deserve it. I, however, although to a lesser extent than the rescuers, want to also commend the TV camera men and the photographers, because we *need* these pictures. Like it or not, we need to see this, we need to see exactly what the damage done was. We need to know that this was a horrible tradgedy, and although all these pictures are very surrealistic, they are most definately real. And I imagine extremely hard for those photographers to capture on their chosen media. I don't know if that comes off exactly as I meant for it to, and I don't really know if I'm as good with words at the moment as usual... but whatever. It's not important, there's so much more that needs to be done than talking... (End 2:46 P.M.)

Woah... ya know, this was supposed to be a whole lot more regular as far as updates go. However with work and life in general, the site gets updated in spare moments such as this, where I've got some time to kill before I have to get ready for work. I recently discovered the joys of a show called Farscape. This show is great...check it out Monday through Thursday at 8 and Friday at 9 on the scifi channel. Wednesday will be a good day, I'm going out with Stacy all day to do a photo shoot. I'm taking this as my first, really serious shoot. It shouldn't be hard to make the pictures look fantastic with Stacy as my model. Especially with her and my creativity combined. And, of course, I'll get that scannner soon, and they'll be here on the site for all of ya. The scanner deal is a bit of a story... here goes...

I bought a Canoscan scanner. Made by Canon, which is a good company as far as imaging goes (We sell Canon cameras at Ritz). Well I made the mistake of buying it in Hell (Altoona's soon to be SUPER Wal-Mart). Seems the scanner I got (Which just happened to be the last one anywhere in Altoona, of course), had already been bought, and was broken. So I'm all excited, got my new scanner hooked up and ready to scan away and I get a TWAIN Driver error. Seems the putz that had it before me forgot to unlock the scanbar before trying to scan, thereby grinding the scanbar's motor into complete oblivion.

Now, I wouldn't normally be so jaded but this is MY scanner. The thing is only an inch high, and I barely had to do any rearranging of my desk to put it right where I wanted it. It also has no power cord, as it gets it's juice right through the USB cord. Which is perfect for me cus the last thing I need is another huge AC adapter sticking out of my surge protector. My cable modem and my printer's plugs already muck up one whole side of the thing, rendering two plugs unusable and leaving only two available on the other side. BLAH. I tried Circuit City but they had none left either. I refuse to be denied my scaner cus some schmuck decided he knew everything and could hook the thing up without reading the manual.... ok, I'm going to end this because you don't want me to get started on people who refuse to read instruction manuals.... They're there for a REASON people.... grrr. (End 1:22 P.M.)

So yeah, it's been awhile :) It's been a bit of a whirlwind month. We're in the middle of our Damage Protection Challenge at work, so selling Damage Protection Plans has been our main focus. Otherwise I've been busy with other things too. D&D is going great. We stopped playing Brandon's Dragonlance campaign because it got pretty uninteresting and silly. Him getting drunk while DMing kinda limited the fun too. I put 128 megs of RAM and an Ethernet card in my computer. I'm getting Industrious and more courageous with doing things to this thing. I'm off to Circuit City sometime today/tomorrow to pick up either a scanner or a video card. I took about 4 rolls of film at Audra and Jeri's birthday party, and they all turned out well. So the scanner may be top priority so I can share those pics with you. There's already one there that I took of Stacy and Cortnee. I also added a new poem, "Building Up", to the poetically inclined section. It, along with the as of yet unwritten "Wearing Thin" and "Broken Down", is part of what will follow "Perfection Lost", "Reality Found", and "Serenity Gained" as my second poetic trilogy.

I've had my off and on relationship thoughts again, perhaps the newest lines of Pendulum came from that. Missing old flames and pondering new ones... kinda sucks. I'm in relationship limbo in general right now, but I've met some interesting people in the last few weeks. No names, that'd be cheating. ;) I also ended up becoming pretty good friends with someone I haven't really talked to or seen since high school. Kinda odd how life works out. That's it for now. Peace. (End 2:11 A.M.)

Went to the Ritz Company picnic at Knoebel's yesterday with Audra. I highly reccomend the Twister and the Phoenix roller coasters. I'm such a roller coaster enthusiast. I've ridden coasters at Hershey park, Bush Gardens VA, and now Knoebel's. I love them :) Steel coasters are cool, what with loops and upside down twists and turns and what not, but nothing beats a good old wooden roller coaster. Aud and I haven't had a day like that in a long time. She's my best friend, you see, and days like yesterday just make it more apparent why we're that way. She knows me better than I know myself and vice versa. It's indescribable how it feels to know that. I wish everyone could have a friend like that. But you can't have mine, find your own :P

Geeze I thoght I'd have more to say. Met a girl... liked the girl... got to know the girl... trying to figure out how to let her down easy, cus I don't think us dating will be the best thing. It's not that I don't think she's a good person, she is and I'd like her as a friend. I'm just busy and 17 is really kinda young for me. Being 21 myself, I'm kind of over that age bracket and how they act. Granted I'm sure there's really mature 17 year olds out there..... just not in BFE Pennsylvania. Now, in West Palm Beach, Florida, 17 year olds have the mental capacity of people in Altoona who are about 22. That's why I've been hanging out with people who are 24, 25, 26, and 27... I relate to them better. Like when I moved to Florida I was 18 and I was dating a 16 year old who was probably more mature than I was at 18. Now I'm 21 and look towards 24 and up as people I hang with here. I dunno. Anyway, I've got stuff to do today (yay, stuff) so I best be off. Cya! (End 2:50 P.M.)

Ok, so apparently tomorrow isn't only a day away. :) Manager's training went well. My District Manager and my Technical Service Manager just talked to us for awhile about stuff. I love the mall that most of the training I've gone to is at. It's not a big corporate America mall like most. There's maybe 3 or 4 anchor stores (Boscov's, Barnes and Noble, and two others I can't think of). The rest of the mall is all independant shops. There's an absolutely awesome comics shop up there called the Comix Connection. They have comics that I never knew existed. Lotsa stuff - it's really unexplainable. They're having a Mage Knight tourney I may go to... Speaking of games we played D&D last night... crazy crazy stuff went on. Uhm, got paid today, whoo hoo. New song of the moment! Stept On is a local band from State College PA, gotta support the hometown crowd! :) Anyway, I'm done rambling at ya. Peace. (End 6/23/01 7:12 P.M.)

Ahhh... two days off and I accomplished absolutely... nothing. Gr. I'm up to 42 hits though. Who keeps coming? I don't know. 42 hits and one guestbook entry. Either one person likes my site a WHOLE lot... or you guys just aren't talkative. :( Anyway... I need to GO. Manager's training starts in the morning. I have to leave at 6 to get there by 9. Yay. I'll update when I get home tomorrow. Peace (End 6/20/01 11:19 P.M.)

Grrr. Annie and I had a fight tonight. She's someone I knew and really liked in Florida, and for various reasons we were talking about "us" and we just didn't like each other's side of the story. She claims she didn't do anything to make me think she liked me (which she did - like me that is), while I remember her being very flirty and quite suggestive. Well, whatever the case, I told her just to drop it, and she did, then signed off. I hate women. No offense, I love women, but damn do I hate women. I wrote a rather exaggerated version of what went on as leash but i think it's a decent poem at least, if not a little bit of a bitchy-vent type thing. Lots of imagery in it, and no real rhyme scheme (pretty much a first for me). I'm going to bed now. Peace. (End 6/20/01 3:12 A.M.)

It's amazing how the human brain can change moods in such little time. I hate boredom. I also hate people. And Summer, I hate Summer too... but why do I wanna move back to Florida? Oh yeah, my friends. I talked to Tim today, he misses me, which kinda makes me feel wanted. I haven't talked to Beau for about a month, but that's Beau for you. Robyn misses me and Angie misses me, but then.... if I did move, everyone here, Audra, Tony, Jeri, Nate, and the rest would miss me. Blah. I'm just in a blah kind of mood right now. I'm bored, I'm hot, and I'm indecisive. I'd read, but I've got nothing to read, yet reading requires a stationary position and I'm simply going stir-crazy here. I wanna get out but I've got nowhere to go. I'd just drive just to drive, but I'm strapped for cash and that would waste gas. I'd update the site but you know as well as I do that I really don't have anything to say. I'm just sort of rambling right now. Which I guess is the whole point of this page. See John, See John ramble. Ok, I need something to do. Calling Nathan, maybe we can do something.... yup we can. We're going shopping. Shopping with Nate is an adventure but... BAH! I'm still bored and just... blah. Lonely I guess. Maybe that's why Sick Cycle Carousel is the SOTM. I just gotta wonder why life can't be easy. Is that too much to ask? I guess so... Even though tomorrow morning I'll wake up and probly be over this little depressive funk, I agree with Kid Rock right now. "Please God please, could you just stop the world cus I wanna get off..." (End 6/19/01 8:00 P.M.)

It's frustrating when you have this wonderfully flowing poem... You know exactly what you want and you know exactly what you're going to do with it. Imagery, tone, conception, emotion, generalization... and then someone calls, or distracts you in some way and it's gone. All of it. Every single idea just says to you "Hey, you aren't concentrating on us enough, so we're out of here." That's the problem I'm having with "Pendulum". I just can't take the damn thing any farther. I'm really devoted to this poem... but it's soooo nice and sunny and I've got a roll of 100 ISO sitting in my camera screaming at me "Come on! It's not raining, what're you waiting for? Let's go let's go let's go!" Yet, I need to clean my room. Badly... though oddly enough, my room says to me "Hey, it's ok, go do what you want to do, you've got two days off, you can clean me later." Why must the work be so willing to compromise whilst my hobbies all want to be #1 on the priority list? I'm putting up an unfinished version of "Pendulum" just for the hell of it... though I generally don't like to do such a thing, who knows how long it's gonna sit unfinished. Hell, it took me about 6 years to get "The Edge" to where it is today and I *still* change the thing every now and again. Am I a perfectionist? Am I my own worst critic? Maybe I'm just nit-picky? I think I just need to relax, blast some music and clean my room. Speaking of music, since WinAmp decided to play it almost every other song today, I've put Sick Cycle Carousel up as the song of the moment. Hanging By A Moment would have been one but I was obsessed with it before I had this site. So this is the next best thing. Also I put up a Picture in the photography page. Check it out. (End 6/19/01 10:45 A.M.)

Yay, Sunday. Played D&D (FINALLY!) with the new group last night. Looks like this will be a fun campaign. :) There should be lots of updates this week, as I have Tuesday and Wednesday off (two days in a row... wow). Heeeey... I procured a copy of some graphics software so there might actually be (gasp) graphics on the site now. I still miss Photoshop though. Uhm..... blah? Yup. New info page up. Check it out. Also, there's a picture of me there too. It's not completely finished, more of a placeholder until I think of more stuff to add to it. And SOMEBODY sign the guestbook already :P (End 6/17/01 8:30 P.M.)

Blah. Insomnia sucks sometimes. Well, I have up what I deem to be a rather goofy page about me in general. I modeled it after a D&D character sheet and it didn't come out like I'd hoped. That may be coming down sometime soon, and something else might be taking it's place. I'm so non-commital. I'm going to start linking the Song of The Moment to it's respective search on AudioGalaxy. Just click, see the songs for that band, and then download it. :) I got to go out after work anyway. Went up to my friend Angela's house. She lives with her boyfriend, Brandon. I'll be playing 3rd Edition Dungeons and Dragons with them starting Saturday. Dragonlance - woohoo! Should be fun. I'll be playing one of my favorite characters, Kaden. Info on him will be on the D&D page once it's up. It's way too hot in Pensylvania right now. I may as well be in Florida. Sometimes I miss it, sometimes I don't. Mostly my friends down there. Beau, Angie, Robyn, Tim, and Jeff... if you guys can hear me, I miss you - much love. I'm out. (End 6/14/01 2:47 A.M.)

Hi again. Added a counter to the front page, So we'll see how popular this place will be. Also, I have a new Fast Url thanks to Bravenet. it's clix.to/Shattered. It'll take you directly to the homepage. Nifty, no? I'm just home from work and with nothing to do tonight it might be a big update for the site. Maybe a revamp of my poems (I might just add Cyclic Love tonight) and some new features.. might make Song of the Moment a more in depth thing, like with lyrics and such. We'll see. What would you guys like to see? I know the site's been up for all of a few days and you guys are probly like, a whole 4 people, but let me know anyway :P. Peace for now. (End 6/14/01 6:20 P.M.)

Well, I thought maybe the web daemons were just harassing me, being new to this whole web site thing and all... but I've come to realize that the German banners ARE STILL HERE. Anywho, worked from 4-9 today. It was dead, except of course around 7:00 (about half an hour before we stop taking film for developing) people decided they absolutely needed this or that done or developed. Therefore, being the devoted employee I am and helping people "capture their memories" (gag), my coworker (the 17 year old chick who only works about 9 hours a week) brought in roughly $600 worth of sales. Me? I capped out at $27.32... so much for my goal being to sell $403 a day so I can make my sales for the month. Oh, for the uninformed, I work at Ritz Camera, a national camera store/1 hour photo lab. I start manager's training on the 21st. Wheeeee.

As for the site, I plan on updating a lot here soon... adding a sort of bio on me, and actually booting up the dusty ol' Packard Bell (133MHz P1) and grabbing Cyclic Love to put on the .:p o e t i c a l l y i n c l i n e d:. section. I'm gonna start putting up more of my own intellectual property as well, such as D&D stuff and my whole C.A.R.S. (Covert Automobile Rebellion System) thing that's been floating around in my head. I e-mailed my wonderful, loving Mother about getting my laptop sent to me from Florida. Once it gets here I need to save the cash to shell out and get it fixed, and then maybe this site will have some more graphics (misses his graphic design days with Photoshop and Illustrator). Oh, and I need to get a scanner as well, or the photography section will pretty much be a moot point. Uhmmm... new song of the moment too. Aenema started to get annoying, 6 minutes just doesn't hold my attention anymore. Alien Ant Farm did an awesome job with Smooth Criminal It's nothing if not interesting to hear a Jackson song as a rock song. Oh, I use WinAmp for my MP3 listening, and highly recommend you go get YrthAmp from PixelFish's site. I use Audiogalaxy to download. It's good. It's fast. Oh, and Lars Ulrich doesn't know about it yet. :)

No, I have no idea why there are so many foreign banners at the top of my site. It makes no sense to me. American boy, American website, banners in German. ~One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong~ Egads I'm regressing into Sesame Street... time to go douse my head in a bucket of acidic liquid. Cya. (End 6/13/01 1:12 P.M.)

I'll add other stuff as I go. But just random little things that will probably sit on this ramblings page. I tend to ramble a lot, about nothing at all. SO if nothing else it should provide some decent entertainment for those of you that are REALLY bored.. So that's about it for now. The inital posting of this site will have mainly the poetry and links sections completed. Communications shouldn't be too hard to do either ;)